Top 12 Short Funny Quotes - My Favorite

short funny quotes by InspiredN

The following are my favorite funny quotes that you might love to read. If you like my collection then you must share it to appreciate me.

1. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? – Benny Hill

2. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Bernard Baruch

3. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. – Bertrand Russell

4. The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. – Bertrand Russell

5. Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment. – Betty White

6. Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. – Bill Maher

7. If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. – Bill Vaughan

8. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. – Bill Vaughan

9. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. – Bill Watterson

10. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! – Billy Connolly

11. I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. – Billy Connolly

12. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. – Billy Sunday